


Just for Summer

by cuvetu



Category: Original Work
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Gay, M/M, No Lesbians Die, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Platonic Relationships, Romantic Friendship, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:26:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 15,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22136254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuvetu/pseuds/cuvetu
Summary: Summer Richards, the just-finished-gcse's-now-i'm-gonna-party guy that somehow stole his personality from his name, has come to a conclusion.Tommy Marur is the boy he wants to be with.Even if it seems impossible.Bxb
Relationships: NickXSara, SummerXTommy





	1. Sara Is Cool

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!!  
> I'm new on ao3 (well not new just never posted anything :1) and you can call me Baran!!  
> This is acc my forst time writing a full length story, at least trying to anyway, I hope you enjoy!

**SARA IS COOL**

The schools grounds were charmingly silent before the abrupt ringing of the bell.

The sun hit the building in such a way that it looked as if it was glowing. The grass was greener, the wooden benches could even somehow be called pretty.

But that was before the volcano that errupted.

"WOOHOO BITCHES IT'S SUMMER!" Nick Richards blared out into the world, his friends laughing behind him, a feeling all of them will find to be _happiness_ in their stomach's, when they all subconsciously realized that they never had to step foot into that building again.

Well, only when they had to come back for 6th form.

"You guys still all coming to Sara's party right?" Nick asked, his pearly white teeth gleaming against his dark skin in an unsure smile. The group all nodded and confirmed, like theyve been doing all week. He's been planning for his friends to meet his girlfriend Sara, and is kinda shitting bricks.

The anxiety some people have when they introduce their partners to their parents was stuck in his throat at the thought of his friends not liking her, he wanted them to like her. His so called 'parents' can go to hell before they meet her.

"Nick," Summer started, pulling him away from the others, "the party will all be fine. What are you afraid of?." Summer noticed the slightly scared brown eyes that Nick gave them when he talked about his girlfriend, Nick picking at his fingernails and tugging at the back of his head. Summer always noticed.

"Oh uh, it's nothing. I'm just overthinking everything." Nick laughed it off. Like he always did. He didn't want Summer to worry like _he_ always did.

"Um well you can overthink it some other time, because WE. ARE. FREE!!" Summer blared much like he did, the group shouting at him to shut the fuck up because _we're in a quiet neighbourhood now Summer!_

But it made Nick smile, and thats what his goal was.

The way to Nick's house, which was that empty that dust was accumulating, the group all discussed their visions of the future, what they all would hope to be doing, most of their dreams included eachother.

This groups of people, have been together since the start of secondary school. They started it together and ended it together, even through the phases and experiments and struggles they all were trying out through the years.

Like when Holly started doing makeup, clumpy mascara and wonky eyeliner. When Danielle started wearing long sleeves again, and Summer gave her all the help and love she deserved. And when Jack started acting like an absolute dickhead.

They all pushed through and helped eachother and now here they are. Walking out together.

Standing in front of Sara's door the next day was harder that Summer thought. His own anxieties about the night occurred here and there, but his medicated brain blocked them, and let him be _happy._

All happy and sunny, like they all thought he always was.

The smooth door opened to reveal a small, big eyed girl with black hair down to her waist, wearing a tight skirt that bound her big hips to the point it almost hurt, heels on legs that Jessica rabbit would be jealous of, and a smile.

Her eyes widened in realisation, the smile instantly steching over her face. Sara was waiting patiently for their arrival, secretly thinking about all the things she should say, or do.

She comforted Nick when he talked about his worries about the party, but she hid her own thoughts as to not make her boyfriend even more worried. Sara loved him, she had yet to tell him, but all in good time.

"Hi!! Oh my god hello! Come inside!" Sara greeted, the lump of exitement and nerves in her chest rolling tight.

She gave Nick a kiss and grasped his shoulder, smiling up at him. She was happy for them, this would all turn out _fine._ Sara also tried to drill into Nick's head that he shouldn't be so worried about this, they're his _friends._

They'll always be his friends.

Jack's eyes wandered around the room silently, hands in his jean pockets.

"Your house is so nice!" Holly said, the awkwardness of meeting someone new getting to everyone.

A silence fell over the group as they all looked around the corridor where they stood, the sleek and modern look of the house was somehow cozy.

Maybe it was because of the amount of family photos on the cream walls, all the horrible drawings and magnets they could see on the fridge in the kitchen.

"Oh, thank you! Hey, why don't you all go to the living room and choose some music while I get all the things ready, in the kitchen?" Sara said, rushing off into the counter and collecting the alcohol that everyone that's coming will destroy.

When they were all in the large living room, Nick was was the first to speak.

"So," he pauses. "You guys think she's nice?"

Danielle was the next to speak, which didn't happen often "Nick. She's lovely." She gave him a smile, he needed the reassurance of their thoughts.

Danielle hated to see Nick's usual cool and breezy attitude to life blown away by something that would ultimately be fine at the end. She knew how it felt, the relief and then then the confusion about why would she even be so hung up about this in the first place.

"Yeah! And did you guys see her heels? Holy fuck I thought I blacked out because of those legs," Holly said, waving her hand to cool her face, receiving a furrowed brow but a smile from Nick.

"Get your own Holly!"

"I'm fucking trying, Nick! It's a little difficult when you live in a shitty little town like this." Holly tried not to look at Danielle, fingers flicking her blonde hair onto her back.

"What d'you guys pick?" Sara entered the room with a two bottles in her hands, placing them on the coffee table. She didn't notice Holly secretly winking at Nick, making a ' _get in there!_ ' expression.

"We haven't found anything yet, but what do you think about artic monkeys?" Summer interviewed, hands in his pocket fishing out his phone.

"Oh fuck _yes_ that's what I think." Sara said , and thats all they needed.

_Sara was cool._

Throughout the night, people they didn't know and people they did know began to trickle into the house, music got louder and actions got hazier.  
  
  



	2. 80% rum

**80% RUM**

The sun was back, made his journey around the world just to wake Summer up by shining in his eyes.

"Ugh..." Summer rubbed his blue eyes.

Summer was basically what the word 'summer' meant. Naturally dirty blonde hair, tanned skin, blue eyes that held the sea. His toned body which was bought by going to the beach and surfing every second that he was able to to.

He wanted to strech out, the bed being big enough for it, but he was stopped when he hit something.

Well, someone.

The someone he hit with his fist just groaned and turned towards Summer, making Summer's breath hitch and hold.

Summer didn't know who this person was. He has never seen his slightly chubby face, squished into the pillow that they were _sharing._

_Okay. All_ _I_ _need to do is_ not _wake him up._

With that thought, Summer's headache appeared when he sat up as slowly as possible, and now it was his turn to unconsciously groan.

Tommy squinted his big brown eyes until he could fully open them, and wanted to strech out, for the ed was big enough for it, but again, was stopped when he hit something.

Well, someone.

And he sure was awake then.

Tommy sat up, immediately reaching over the strange being in his bed to his desk for his glasses, shoving them on his head to see the _strange being_ _._

"Why are you in my bed?" Tommy murmered. Suspiciously calm for Summer's taste but it was only because Teddy just woke up.

"I,uh..." Summer wracked his useless brain for the answer. The response. _Why_ _the hell_ _is he_ _in this boy's bed?_

"You could at least get out." Tommy said coldly. He dosnt dosnt want dosnt want this boy in his bed. Even if he was a boy too and he was gay.

He was scared.

_Why_ _wouldn't_ you be scared Tommy? _It'd_ _be scary if you_ _weren't_ _scared._

"Oh! Yeah, okay!" Summer was awkward. He was _never_ awkward.

Not when he asked out his first girlfriend, not when he broke up with her because he just wasn't _feeling_ anything anymore.

Not when he had his interview for his job at the local grocery store, which he got, because he _wasn't_ awkward about it.

So why, if the fucking fuck, is he awkward around a _boy?_

"Um, I was there because.." again, wracking his brain for any kind of explanation, cursing Sara and her 80% rum.

"Okay. Whatever. Just, just get your things and go away." Tommy resulted. He wanted to be alone and just process what's happening right now.

Summer's brain was agreeing with the stranger in front of him, however his feet weren't moving. Instead his mouth was.

"Can, Can I just," Summer's hands moved up to fix Tommy's massive glasses, which sat crooked on his tiny nose, "what's your name?" Summer's mouth asked.

Tommy was only getting more and more confused, but still, "Thomas."

"Summer," hand held up for a high five, his brain not think about the action at all. It was as if he was still fucking drunk out of his mind. "Nice to meet ya'!"

Tommy high fived the even more strange boy in front of him, and was left flustered by the epitome of Summer.

Alone in his room, now fully awake, Tommy got out of bed and closed the curtains which still let the summer sun in.

Summer, however cool he tried to seem, was freaking out. He didn't want to think about what just happened, leaving the problem to be solved on lonely nights when he just can seem to get to sleep.

Once he found Nick, drooling on Sara's chest, he decided to make his own way back to his house.

"Good luck cleaning this up, dickhead." He whispered to Nick, lightly slapping his face, which only got his a grunt and a rumble in response.

Upstairs, When Tommy heard the front door slam shut, he finally sighed and decided to get back to work on his recent piece.

His already stained hands got more stained with different fresh colours, the smell of a nursery arts and crafts classroom and the smooth strokes of the paintbrush was all he focused on.

His concentration only wavered when his heavy glasses slipped down his nose, reminding him of the scene that happened almost 4 hours ago.

"Ugh." Tommy crunched his nose in embarrassment, placing his paintbrush down to rub his face, smearing blue paint on his cheek. "I need a break."

Standing up after being sat down for so long hurt. His legs and hand cramped up and his tailbone felt like it was sticking out of his arse.

Stomach rumbling, Tommy decided to finally go downstairs for breakfast, hoping, fucking praying for there to be no strangers there anymore. He doesn't want to deal with the stares.

'Oh look it's Sara's brother that never leaves his room.'

'Isn't he like, depressed or something? Hope he'll get out of that rut soon I guess.'

'He needs to go outside more, look at his skin! He's so fucking pale I'd mistake him as dead.'

And laughter, and laughter, and laughter.

Tip toeing downstairs, he heard nothing except from the TV, which settled his heart a little.

Inside the kitchen, he saw that it wasn't as bad as the thought it would be. The mess only consisted of a few cups around the counter and empty pizza boxes on the table.

"Tommy?" He turned around to see a pyjama-clad Sara, Nick following behind.

He liked Nick, he was nice. He didn't give him looks and stares like some of Sara's other so called 'boyfriends'.

"You alright Ted?" Nick asked, ruffling Teddy's dyed black hair.

"Yeah. How was last night?" He replied. He heard random shouts and clashes and the rumble of music downstairs last night, but it was expected. He just put his earphones in his ears and blasted the music. He was grateful that Sara told him about the party beforehand.

"It was great! I met Nick's friends and they were so nice. Danielle was crazy though!" Sara responded, shaking her head and laughing at the memories she remembered this morning.

"Crazy?" Nick asked, helping himself to the leftover crisps in the bowl. He was slightly overprotective of Danielle. They all were.

"Yeah! Didn't you see her down like, 4 shots at once?" Sara laughed. "She. Is. Batshit." Sara munched on the crisps.

"Oh! Yeah, that girl can take her alcohol." Nick laughed with her.

"You guys want tea?" Tommy asked, turning away from from to put the kettle on, placing 3 mugs on the counter after their replies.

After making his breakfast and the couple's tea, Tommy shot back upstairs, and remembered why he wanted to eat in the living room today.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Sixth Form

**SIXTH FORM**

Sunday morning shifts are always too eerily silent for Summer.

The lack of human presence made Summer fidget, his small uniform shirt seemed too tight all of a sudden, the artificial lights were too bright, hands shaking underneath the cash register.

A few people came and went, and he was all smiles and 'how are you?'s. That was where his safe spot was, he was comfortable there. No explanations.

"Summer!" He heard his best friends boisterous voice echo through the empty shop following another voice, a smaller "oh".

Summer looked at the door, and saw that Nick, Sara and the boy who he just couldn't get out of his mind for the past 2 days were walking through it.

There was just something about him. Summer still couldn't grasp what it was, but it made him feel something. He also didn't know what that something was.

Maybe he just wants to be friends with Thomas, that's the logical idea.

"Nick! wassup?" Summer greeted them all, blue eyes trying to connect with wandering brown ones.

"We here to buy some noodles." Nick explained, hands on his hips in a im-here-for-business way. Sara giggled behind him, walking towards Summer. Sara had pestered Nick all morning to go to the shops to get the noodles she's been assumeingly craving her entire life.

"This is my brother Tommy, by the way," Sara introduced. She loved her brother, but how quiet he can get sometimes scares her. She dragged him along their quest for carbs and away from staying in his burrow, doing whatever he does.

Tommy, huh?

"Oh, I've met him already," Summer said, not thinking about it. He didn't realise that he would have to explain how, and why, and when, and _where._

He still dosnt remember how he got into his bed that night.

"Oh really? I-" Sara started, but Tommy's eyes widened once he realised and quickly stopped her.

"Nope. Never met him." His time Tommy made eye contact with Summer, his brown eyes glaring at him which made Summer smirk.

"I swear down I ha-" Summer teased, getting the exact reaction as he wanted.

"NOPE. I think you're delusional. Your crazy. Nice to meet you." Tommy exclaimed, hands bunching up his hoodie sleeves and head shaking right to left. He started leading the group away from the cash registers, and into the small diary isle.

  
"What was that?" Nick asked Summer, and Summer shrugged.

Nick scrurried off to join the two siblings, almost tripping on a wonky marble tile.

Summer, left alone again, looked right and left to find nobody to see. Silently opening the door to get out of the cash register, and running to catch up with his friends.

He was getting bored, and it would be rude to just leave them.

Tommy was also getting bored. He couldn't believe he _actually_ agreed to come, just for _noodles._ The noodles were fucking delicious, but he should've just stayed home until the family had to go grocery shopping.

His mind was running with things that could happen, things that they could assume. The whole situation was just stressful.

_He'll just stay in his room until this all just blows over. It always does._

"Hey!" Summer whispered in Tommy's ear, standing behind him.

"Oh my fuck! What is wrong with you?" Tommy exclaimed, instantly blushing at his loud reaction, looking around for people.

"You going college or sixth form?" Summer asked, randomly. He genuinly wasn't thinking about what he was saying. He wanted to know this small, glaring, lip-biting boy in front of him as muh as he could.

They both noticed Sara and Nick leaving the Isle, still looking for those noodles, leaving the two alone.

The question left Tommy confused, much like the one he got asked last Friday morning. It was so simple, but he way he asked it made him burn up

"U-uh, sixth form, why?" He answered clumsily, his eyes on the smiley face Dylan his best friend drew on his converse. His lace was untied.

"Just asking. I'm going sixth form too!" Summer smiled down at Tommy, his heart shaped smile made Teddy step back, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets.

Tommy carried on the conversation politely, "What are you taking?" Moving deeper into the store following his sister. He wanted to go home.

"I'm taking English, design and psychology. You?" Summer followed him again, mirroring Tommy's action of putting his hands in his pockets. Summer wanted to get off work already.

"Yeeeeessss!" The two both lifted their heads to see Sara holding the pack of noodles over her head, triumph glowing on her face.

"You found 'em?" Summer asked, laughing at her childness.

Sara skipped over to the cash register, Nick behind her, trying to catch her with laughter booming through the shop. Pulling her to him by her waist, hugging her from behind. Heart beating fast, breath coming out in pants of laughter.

"Yup!" Sara said, smiling up at Summer when he walked to the cash register once again for her to pay for the God-like noodles.

Tommy looked at Summer. Properly looked at him. He'd only met he guy twice now, and both times he was just so _happy._ He permanently had that heart smile on his face, always looked _alive_. Tommy's cheeks were forever pale, except from the times he entirely embarrassed himself in front of people.

That short conversation they just had, however random it was, was nice. It was kind of awkward, but still nice. Meeting other people and getting to know them was refreshing.

But Tommy's cheeks still grew hot whenever he remembered how they met for the first time.

When they all left the store, leaving Summer behind for him to work his shift, Tommy was still rewinding and disecting the little words he said to Summer, thinking if he came off too cold, too off putting, too awkward.

"What you thinking 'bout, twat?" Sara walked by him, interrupting his thoughts.

"Nothing. Nothing," he replied, fixing his hair after Sara ruffled it.

Sara gave Nick a knowing look, and he gave her an eye roll.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Sleepover

**SLEEPOVER**

"Ugh what the fuck," Holly yelled, rubbing the messed up eyeliner from her eye once again.

"I can never get this right for some goddamn reason." She announced to Danielle, who was lying on her pastel pink bed, reading.

Danielle was pulled out of her book by the exclamation, a chuckle rumbling through her throat. "You know, you swear a whole lot more than you should." She announced.

"Well, whoever thinks so can go fuck themselves." Holly giggled.

"Seriously? Obviously you'd reply like that your _Holly."_

Holly tried around from her mirror with one eye lined. "What you tryin to say bitch?" Even with the threat, she still had a smile on her face when she looked at the dark haired girl on her bed.

Danielle's eyes widened in mock fear, "oh no! Holly Barkley is gonna beat me up! _Whatever will I do!?"_ Danielle's hands were in her hair, red faced from trying not to break character.

"Don't act like you wouldn't like me to," Holly replied, rolling her eyes, "kinky whore."

"Hey! Stop exposing me!" Danielle whined, standing up from the bed to sit down by Holly, watching her put of her makeup effortlessly.

Danielle always admired her for being so good at makeup. Holly's eyeshadow was always perfectly blended and her long eyelashes looked almost perfect when she curled them.

But what made her frown was when she started hiding her freckles. Holly's dyed blonde hair that she loved running her hands through was hiding the red underneath, she said it made her face look like a tomato.

But what Holly really thought was that she always looked like a tomato, because she always thought of how it would feel to kiss Danielle.

How it would feel to smooth down her shirt after they did something explicit, how it would feel if she put their foreheads together and whisper those three words.

Danielle has been in her mind this way ever since year eight, where her brain suddenly wanted to declare her sexuality. Danielle knows about her being gay, the whole group knows. She wasn't denying it.

But after she kissed all the girls that wanted to kiss her too, she was left with wanting wanting to only kiss the girl in front of her.

"Do _my_ makeup." Danielle suddenly announced, yanking Holly out of her self-induced sadness.

"What?" Holly asked, she wasn't sure if she heard her right.

"Can you do my makeup next?" Danielle asked, feeling like a child asking her mother for a sweet. Her hands were on her knees, rubbing her thighs in her nerves.

Holly laughed, "Sure, babe. I'll do your makeup." Holly went back to applying her eyeliner, filling in the little triangle and then, she was done.

"After we make the cookies though, 'cus I. Am. Hungry." Holly said, standing up from her sitting position on the floor, hair landing in her face.

Danielle stood up quickly, brushing Holly's hair out of her face, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the stairs to Holly's large, cozy kitchen.

Holly was thankful for putting on foundation, but could only hope that it covered her blushing cheeks. Danielle was _holding her hand._

She wished they could do that in another way.

Back in Holly's room, with a plate of cookies and flour on their shirts, the girls sat on the bed watching a show Danielle could barely focus on, because Holly was just so _close._

She could _smell her shampoo goddammit._ Her crooked nose which always had blackheads on it was just a few inches away from her lips, and she wanted to _peck it,_ _goddamit_ _._

But Danielle just gulped down her saliva and looked away, hiding her face with her hair trying to actually pay attention to the show before she remembered what they were gonna do.

"Makeup!" Danielle said, sitting up, moving herself away from Holly before she did something she is sure she would regret.

"Huh?" Holly asked daydreamingly. She, for once, was actually interested in the show.

"You were gonna do my makeup?" Danielle's eyes were gleaming too much for Holly not to look straight at them, making Danielle look away, hiding her face again.

Holly paused the show and laughed at Danielle's childish mannerisms, gathered all her makeup from the floor and put them onto her bed.

"Okay, you twat, I'll do your fucking makeup." Holly said, fake exasperated, but smirking Danielle.

They've done this before, many times on their weekly sleepovers, the exact same way each time. Danielle asks for Holly to do it, and Holly always complies.

But this time there was something different. Danielle could feel the anxiety in her stomach more than other times. Her eyes kept flicking back and forth between Holly's concentrated eyes and her full lips, slightly chapped from licking them all the time.

She kept fiddling with her fingers, when Holly held the back of her head to move it to blend the eyeshadow properly, commanding her to look up when she was doing her mascara.

_Kinky whore._

"Holly?" Danielle said.

"Hm?"

"Kiss me?"

Holly's hand stopped smearing the dark purple lipstick onto her crush's lips, and brought her head back to look at Danielle's eyes.

"Please?"

Using the hand on the back of Danielle's head, Holly brought their foreheads together, breath hitching and stomach pulled.

"Are you sure?" She asked in her thickened Irish accent, but she only needed to look into Danielle's eyes once more to have the answer.

Danielle's lips stood still for a few awkward seconds, in shock that her crush for almost two years now was kissing her.

But she came over the shock almost immediately, reaching to hold Holly's face in her hands, and moved her lips.

Holly could taste the cookies they made in her breath but she was sure Danielle could too, and it only made her more desperate, more needy, more, more, more.

They came apart for breath, only until Danielle came back for a peck on her nose, and Holly started all over again.

They weren't thinking about the conversation that would happen after wards, or that they would probably have to tell their friends.

But they weren't bothered right now, now everything was hot. It was _right._

And that's how they wished to be forever.


	5. The Night Of The Party

**THE NIGHT OF THE PARTY**

"Oh my god, no! No I don't fucking piss myself when I'm sleeping Jack, for fucks sake!" Holly slurs, outraged with the idea.

"All I'm saying, you would be so defensive about it if you actually didn't." Jack took a swig of his drink, smirking at Holly's angry face.

He liked teasing Holly, everytime he did she would get so pissed at him. It was _funny._

"I wonder how you guys got to _this_ part of the conversation." Summer appeared, his entire body seemingly relaxed. His smile was still there on his face, high and mighty. His words a little sloppy.

"I wonder who spiked your drink, you oblivious dumbass." Jack taunted. Summer dosnt usually drink that much. Sure he had one or two beers sometimes but he never drank enough to get drunk.

" _You_ are an oblivious bastard." Summer pointed to Holly. Summer still dosnt know, or remember, why Holly still dosnt know how-

"Can't you just _see_ how in love Danielle is with you?"

_Huh,_ Jack thought, _he really is fucking drunk_ _ain't_ _he?_

"Huh?" Holly replied to the question, too drunk to even understand it.

"Ugh, never mind. I'm getting, another _drink."_  
Summer spluttered out the words, almost getting knocked over by some random stranger that was dancing her heart out.

"Yez girl, fuckin'... dance!" Summer shouted into her ear, and then wobbled into the almost empty kitchen, which only had a couple sucking off each other's faces in.

Pouring himself a drink, Summer didn't remember what his mind was thinking, he only saw the time and decided that _it was time for bed._

Entering he closest door without a sock on its handle, his head starting to pound from gulping all his drink too quickly. Kicking his shoes off, and plopped into the bed.

Under the covers, all his brain seemed to say was _warm._ It was so nice, and _soft._ Oh god it was soft. The covers, the mattress, the pillow.

His arms automatically decided to reach into the warmth, and came back with his hands full of the heat, rubbing his face into their dark hair.

His brain didn't register that it was _their._ Summer's drunk mind didn't care though. All he thought was _warm,_ and _pretty._


	6. Staircase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! It's me Baran  
> I'm only here to mention that there are mentions of self harm in this chapter  
> Don't feel obligated to read :)

**STAIRCASE**

Tommy hated summer.

It was too hot, too sweaty. And the cheap ice pops that only had flavor for about half a second and made his fingers numb were just _shit._

Sara spent most of her time outside, _like a normal person would,_ sweating and getting a sun burn as she read her cringey romance novel that she borrowed from the library. Enjoying herself.

Whilst _Tommy_ spent his days in his room, getting regular shouts from his mother from downstairs, voicing her concern for him dying of heat exhaustion from staying in his tiny room which was basically a sauna by now, in polish.

Tommy loved his mum. This tiny polish woman that moved from her hometown to give her children a better life held so much love in her heart for her children that it was suffocating. But Tommy didn't mind. She was the reason he still _tried._

Tommy sat at his desk, almost finished with his new piece. _Almost_ _._ It isn't good enough yet.

He looked at the mirror on his wardrobe.

Tommy's black hair stuck to his forehead, his big cheeks glowing red from the heat. His mouth was open, lips red from panting.

He looked _ill._

Tommy looked away from the mirror. He didn't want to look at the boy with a chubby belly and big thighs.

He felt disgusting. Sitting in his room where he was supposed to be free of any complaints, stares and whispers, staring and complaining about himself.

It was _too hot._ He wanted to be back at school, back to that maths lesson when Dylan drew a smiley face on his converse he brought to school for PE. He missed those days already.

He felt the prick behind his eyes again for the millionth time today. He wouldn't let the wet tears fall. They would make him feel even more disgusting, pouring down his face like waterfalls, made him weak, _unmanly._

That's what his father called him. He should be more like Nick, a strong boy with so much going for him, should be a boy he could be proud of.

But his dad just couldn't realise that he was so _scared._

Tommy still didn't know what he wanted to do with his sorry excuse of a life. He didn't know. He was average.

Average in everything. Looks, marks, relationships. All he was 'good' at was painting.

_But where will that get him in life?_

The sun still blinds his eyes even though he tried to hide it wih his thin curtains.

"AH for fucks sake."

He brought his hands over his head to shield his eyes, but that only made him let some of that waterfall out his eyes.

And when he started the couldn't stop.

"What the hell am I doing?" He whispered, to nobody but himself.

_______

He stepped out of his room wearing a long sleeve shirt, face streaky from crying.

"Oh! Hey!" Tommy heard, looking up to find Summer at the top of his staircase.

_What's_ _he doing here, now?_

"Hi." He replied quickly, carefully trying to walk past this boy who he still didn't know how he felt about.

"Wait," Summer reached to hold Tommy's shoulder.

His eyebrows furrowed to see he red underneath Tommy's eyes, his cheeks red.

"Were you crying?" Summer asked, without thinking. Straight after he said it, though, he remembered that it wasn't any of his business. It wasn't his business, and yet he wanted to know why Tommy was crying and wanted to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay.

"What? No." Tommy turned to hide his face from Summer, but his jaw was held by a hand and moved to connect his eyes with furrowed blue ones.

"You were." Summer said. Placing both of his hands on Tommy's shoulders.

"You want to talk abou-"

"You barely know me. Fuck off." Tommy snapped. His hands were shaking, tears felt like they were going to fall all over his face again.

Tommy hated this.

He barged passed Summer who stood there , mouth open ready to say something, but he didn't know what would make this situation better.

Tommy had a point. He _didn't_ know him. He _should_ fuck off. So he did.

He went to the toilet like he was meant to, and proceeded to walk downstairs and excuse himself out of the house.

"Why you going so early man?" Nick asked, and arm around Sara's shoulders that she was snuggling into.

"Oh just, family stuff. I'll tell you later. Got to go, bye!" He rushed out, running through the hallway and catching and glimpse of the kitchen.

There Tommy was, sitting in a chair. Light in his pretty brown eyes.


	7. Apologies

**APOLOGIES**

For the next 2 weeks, Summer tried to avoid going to Sara's house as if it had the plague. It was a struggle, too, because now that Nick was sure that Summer and his friends liked Sara, he wanted to be there all the time.

It was understandable, obviously, but it was hard for Summer to hang out with Nick because every time he was there he would either bump into Tommy, or Tommy wouldn't know he was there and have to say hi everytime he went to find Sara, and she wasn't in her room.

Because she was downstairs. Where Summer is.

It wasn't _awkward,_ exactly. It was uncomfortable, because Summer was never in a situation where the person he was trying to help, _didn't_ _want his help._

He understood that Tommy wanted him to back off, but it was difficult when he was in his house _everyday._

For example, right now. Summer was sitting on their couch when Nick and Sara were both in the kitchen making him tea, and he was stuck there, as when he came over Tommy was sat in the living room instead of his room, drawing in his sketchbook, because of a reason he didn't disclose to Summer.

And now he had to make _conversation._

Never mind. It is awkward.

"So.." He started. "You okay?" Summer cringed when his voice broke, how could he be _so uncool?_

"Yeah." Tommy replied. He was trying to focus on his drawing of a mermaid, but it was a bit difficult with the tension in the air that you had to cut with a saw. "You?"

"Yeah I'm good." Summer didn't know what to talk about. Of course he didn't know what to talk about with a boy that didn't want to fucking talk to him. His eyes started to wander around the large living room.

Summer cautiously looked at Tommy for the time, he felt like. He never saw someone with such pale skin before, during summer aswell. Tommy's fingers gripped the pencil so delicately, as if scared he was going to read it.

"What you drawing?" Summer asked, not knowing what else he could say.

Tommy looked at Summer. He could tell that he was trying his best to make conversation. It was somehow a relief that Summer didn't hate him after what he said.

Tommy probably ran through the words he said to Summer about a million times, regretting and regretting and regretting. He wondered what would happen if he actually did tell Summer how he felt, what he _did._

But, he was probably asking to talk to him out of wanting to be polite. That's it. Summer was being polite and Tommy was being a _dick._

"Uh, a mermaid." Tommy slightly shifted on the couch, showing Summer the sketch. He fiddled with his pencil, cogs in his brain whirring.

_Suck it up,_ _Thomas_ _._

"Summer, you know what I said to you, last time, you were uh... here?" He finally said. His eyes didn't meet Summer's beautiful blue ones, but he said it.

"Yeah?" Summer was shocked. He didn't think that Tommy was going to talk about what happened on the staircase so soon. It _has been 2 weeks,_ but Summer didn't think they were _ever_ gonna talk about it.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, I... I'm sorry." Tommy explained, waiting for an answer. He felt like throwing up.

Summer smiled. "Its fine, Tommy. You were upset, I didn't think you meant it." Summer received the eye contact he was waiting for, and smiled at Tommy.

"Really?" Tommy asked, not believing he got such a calm response.

"Yeah man." Summer slouched at the couch, hands finding their way into his hair, he watched as Tommy smiled unconsciously at his sketchbook.

"You know what would make this day better?" Summer blurted out after some silence. It made Tommy jump at the sudden sound, nearly ruining his drawing.

Tommy stared up at Summer with his eyebrows furrowed, "W-what?"

"Fucking _ice cream,_ darling. Come on, let's go get something proper though, not those shitty ice lollies that have absolutely _no fucking flavour._ " Summer announched, and it made Tommy smile.

"Wait right now?"

"Sure! Fuck it I got paid yesterday!"

They were interrupted with giggles and blushes at the door, from Nick and Sara, who were both holding two mugs of tea each.

"What took you two so long?" Summer asked, standing up and putting his thin jacket on. His response was a couple of stutters and glowing red cheeks, and instantly he just _knew_ what they were up to for the past 20 minutes in the kitchen.

"You know what? Don't bother, I don't wanna hear about your little sex scene in the kitchen. Also, we're getting ice cream let's go!"

Then the four lukewarm mugs of tea and the half finished mermaid were left alone, to fend for themselves.


	8. Up your rectum

**UP YOUR RECTUM**

During the quest to find ice cream, Summer needed to stay alone with his confusing thoughts. Excusing himself with leading the direction, he walked ahead of the couple, and the boy who was ruining his mind.

Every single interaction they've had, it's been awkward and hesitant, and he probably instantly regretted and pondered over every word he said to Tommy, thinking of better phrases instead of the ones he said and can't take back.

But _why?_

Summer can't get to wrap his head around the fact he could have some feelings for the guy. It was just a crush, an infatuation. It'd probably blow over with fleeting time, and he's going to forget about it soon enough.

But it still didn't make the pulling of awkwardness in his stomach any better. It didn't help that Tommy was fucking _gorgeous_ _._

The way Tommy played with his hoodie sleeves and bit his chapped, pink bottom lip made Summer's head whirl. He wanted to hold him, just touch him.

But he cant, he _can't_ _._ It's too soon to start wanting things and _waiting for them._ He's always anticipating their next meeting, even if he knows it would be wrong, and probably uncomfortable for Tommy. He couldn't help but want it.

"We're finally fucking _here_ , people!" Summer exclaimed in a much more relaxed voice than he was feeling. He couldn't help but worry if anyone would notice it was forced.

Once gaining their ice cream cones and cups, they all headed to a booth.

Of course, Sara and Nick sat together on one side, leaving Summer and Tommy to stumble with letting the other to go ahead, which ended up with Summer grasping Tommy by the shoulders and physically moving him to sit down to stop the ball dancing.

It left them both looking away from each other with blood rushing to their faces, making their heads feel floaty.

"I'm gonna go uh, napkins." Summer announched, leaving the booth.

Sara looked at Summer's back worryingly. "IS he alright, Tommy? What did you talk about when we were... Um..." Nick gave her a cheeky smile, and Sara rolled her eyes at the dorkiness. "Making tea?"

Tommy's eyes instantly widened, thinking back to the living room. He was proud of his courage to step up and apologise, and yet he kept thinking about how Summer called him _darling._

The word was stuck in his head. _Darling._

_Darling, darling, darling._

"We were just, you know..." Tommy ate a spoonful of his cherry icecream. "Introducing ourselves." He couldn't help but think back to when they _actually_ introduced themselves to eachother.

God, the pillows still somehow have his smell left in them.

Is it bad he kind of liked it? Just a little.

"I don't know why he's acting so awkward, he's usually really cool." Nick added, licking his own ice cream.

"I know right? Like, everytime he's around Tommy he's just," Sara made a face that portrayed everything Nick was thinking, her eyes shot to the side and widened, her eyebrows rose and conveyed the perfect face of _awkwardness._

"Yeah! Exactly!" Nick's eyes bunched up at the sides. He couldn't tell obviously, but Sara was looking at him in a way that made Tommy's heart hurt.

_She really does love him._

When Nick sobered down, his eyes met Sara's, the summer sun hitting straight into his dark brown eyes, turning them to lava. Sara sighed. She loved this nerd so much.

"Should I talk to him about it?" Nick asks.

Tommy himself let out a little chuckle at Sara. "But what it he just," Tommy made a forward movement with his arms, nearly knocking his ice cream cup down "stops?"

"Yeah but I'd wanna talk to him before he just get tok awkward, you know?" Nick replied, twisting his ice cream cone in his hands.

"Yeah I guess. You gonna do it now?" Sara asks. Nick nods his head, his shoulder length braids falling onto his pretty face.

Tommy's brain slowly processed what Sara said, thinking about it, analysing it. _Around Tommy?_ What's that supposed to mean? Does he actually hate him, and was just keeping appearances for Nick and Sara's sake?

It didn't seem it back in in the living room, but he guessed that's why they're called _appearances._

"Wait, what did you mean by 'around Tommy', how does he act without me?" Tommy blurted out without thinking about it first, he really just wanted to know. No matter if it hurt his head afterwards, as least his head would feel satisfied with knowledge.

Sara started, "Like, he always makes stupid comments on whatever movie we're all watching or something, is just a general crackhead really."

"And with you he's just like," Nick ended, and pointed to Sara, who was doing the _awkwardness face_ again, making Nick burst out laughing again.

"He just _sits_ there." Sara adds, worry starting to come up on her face.

"What's that supposed to mean? Does he not like me?" Tommy questioned, his heart dropping to his stomach. It felt common, but unneeded. Why does he care so goddamn much?

"No, No he likes you. He always asks how you are everytime he comes by, and I don't think he'd do _that_ if he didn't like you." Nick quickly bashed down the worry in Tommy's brain, which was now occupied by a new thought. A thought that made his ears flush red against his black hair.

_He asks how I am?_

"Its just that, when you are around he acts like you don't exist." Sara said.

_No,_ Tommy thought. _I act like_ he _dosnt exist._

"It was probably because we didn't introduce ourselves until today," _lies,_ "that's probably why he's been so awkward around me. He'll probably stop soon."

"Yeah he probably will now that you've said that. Let's wait a few days until he talk to him about it. If it actually carries on, anyways." Sara quickly ended the conversation, noticing Summer walking back with a stack of napkins that they didn't need.

"Sup dildos." Summer said giving them all a wide smile, sitting down next to Tommy on the red booth seat.

A spell of silence came over all four of them as they just sat and ate ice cream, not regretting Summer's decision to go get ice cream, because he was right. It did make this day a whole lot better.

"So," Summer started, sick of the silence already.

"I got coconut and chocolate." Sara said, biting into her ice cream, Nick then giving her a scowl afterwards.

"Oh my god you _better_ know the coconut song." Summer grinned, expecting to burst into a musical any moment now.

"What?" Sara and Nick said at the exact time, so Summer turned to Tommy, hope in his eyes.

"I-I know it." Tommy uttered almost silently. But Summer heard, and beamed down at him, showing off his pearly white teeth and gums, and Tommy's breath was gone.

"Ha! Nick, you chose the wrong sibling!" Summer joked, his head turning once again to look at his best friend, who was 'hurt' by the announcement. Nick's hand reached up to his chest mockingly, mouth parted wide in a gasp.

"If you don't want a fucking coconut up your rectum you better shut the fuck up Sunny." Sara interjected before Nick could say anything to him, but it was a thousand times better than what Nick was going to say, leaving him almost in tears.

"Ooo, we got ourselves a kinky one," Summer said as an aside to Tommy, winking his blue eye at him, long and pale eyelashes fluttering.

And Tommy's heart skipped at beat.

_Oh._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. Possible

**POSSIBLE**

Back at home, Summer shuts his front door, exhausted.

He spent the rest of his day after going to the ice cream parlour at the Marur household, tip toeing around Tommy, even though they seem to be on equal ground and both got some closure.

Summer dosnt want to think about his feelings right now, but when he got into his shower, he had nothing else to do. He still hasn't figured out whether what he's feeling for Tommy _is_ a crush, because he barely knows the guy, and plus, he never had a crush on a guy before.

The fact that he _might_ like a boy dosnt bother him. It's just that this is new territory, he dosnt know how to handle it.

After getting soap in his eye, he was blessed with an epiphany. Summer could just, spend more time with Tommy, to figure if he liked him or not. He dosnt just want to leave this theory that might be bisexual in the air, he wants to reach out and grab it both hands.

 _Yeah,_ Summer thought, drying his hair like it's a wet puppy, _I'll_ _just hang out with him_ _more_ _._

He remembered that he got Tommy's phone number whilst he was out with him today, albeit with a lot of stutters, an embarrasing joke and glowing red cheeks (from both boys) but _he got it._

Staring at his conflicted eyes in the reflection of his black phone screen, Summer contemplated texting Tommy right now, when he had the courage and the adrenaline to do it.

_Hey Tommy!_ _It's_ _me Summer, u wanna hang out tommorow?_

_Hey Tommy! It's me Summer, u wanna hang out with me and Nick tommorow?_

_This is Summer, u wanna hang out?_

_Hi, today was fun!_

Summer thought of as many ways to enter a conversation, trying his _fucking_ best to come up with something good, at least nothing creepy.

"Ugh, what the fuck?" Summer whispered, his head was in his hands, rubbing his eyes with his palms. He hated this.

Summer never liked crushes. Ever since year nine when he had a crush on a quiet girl in his English class that was _just so sweet,_ Summer decided he dosnt like candy. He hated the mind games that he basically played with himself when he contemplated different situations, and fantasised about any possibly good outcome.

When Summer said this was just an infatuation, he meant it. He dosnt even know if it _is_ an infatuation, he's trying to figure it out _right now._

And that was the point where it all went to hell. Because right then and there, when Summer realised that he _wanted_ this to be an infatuation, a _crush,_ was when he realised he had feelings. Was when he realised he wanted something good out of this, and he will almost certainly get _fucking crushed_ with the outcomes.

Summer's eyes widened as the jigsaw puzzles clicked together, and filled up with tears. Biting his lip, and covering his mouth because he didn't want to wake up his brothers with the sounds of his sobs, and cried silently.

This was meant to be a good summer. This summer was meant to be iconic, the weeks filled to the brim with alcohol and laughter, and he knew instead it was going to be filled with possible heartbreak and sobbing.

But what stopped his from halting his feelings and making a u-turn back to his safe space, was the _possible._

This could _possibly_ be good. But his tears didn't want to listen.

Eventually, Summer decided to put the phone down, lay his head on his flat pillow and shut his tired, swollen eyes. He could think it all through tommorow, he'll sort it all out.

Because of course he'll sort it out. It's _Summer._

The next morning, Tommy was awake by the sound of the vacuum marching up and down the hallway, the polish radio that his mum recently discovered playing on max volume, with his mum whistling along.

He sighed, and checked the time. _1:26 pm. And_ _sighed_ _again._

Summer always did this to him. If he wasn't spending his days focusing on his studies and trying to actually make them gradeable, his mind decided to keep his awake during he night, watching and reading things he could do perfectly fine in the mornings if he got up earlier.

Having the last of his stretches, Tommy sat up in his bed. He'd fallen asleep watching a new series on _Netflix,_ crumbs lettered like stars on his dark hoodie. His soft pyjama bottoms weren't soft anymore, as he spilt numerous amounts of liquids on them during his _nightly_ _endeavours_.

The sun was littered in stripes on his old yellow carpet, making the clothes on it glow. Tommy was shook from his drowsiness when the vacuum suddenly stopped, and decided it was time to head outside for food.

"Tomek! Nareśce się obudziłeś! Na stole jest stare śniadanie." Tommy pulled his lips into a smile. _Finally you woke up!_ Was it such a surprise? That he woke up this late?

His mum gave his a kiss on his cheek and waved him off, wanting to carry on with cleaning. "Dzenkuje," Tommy thanked, in his weird polish accent that was dulled down over the years of living in England, and squeezed past the vacuum and the railing to go downstairs.

Whilst he was chewing on his off brand Lucky Charms, he suddenly remembered that he had received Summer's phone number the day before, and flushed pink.

He's been so _awkward._ Everything's been awkward. Even his own room and clothes seemed to become _stiff_ and _heard to keep eye contact with._

He fetched his phone out of his hoodie pockets and looked through his short contact list, finding Summer's which had a picture of his winking face and his finger guns as his picture. Tommy had to suppress a giggle so his Dad wouldn't look up from his book.

Maybe he should text him. But he only just got his phone number yesterday, would it be weird?

But he didn't have to think about it, he almost jumped six feet in the air when his phone vibrated, notifying him with a text,

_Hey,_ _it's_ _Summer_

His voice hitched with holding back a squeal, running up the stairs with his toast shoved in his mouth, shutting the door.

And feeling grateful that his mum was still vacuuming the hallway as he almost screamed to let some of the heat from his cheeks into his surroundings.  
  
  



	10. Holly And Danielle

**HOLLY AND DANIELLE**

"What do you want to do?"

Holly was leaning her head on her hand, her destroyed hair still sprawled gracefully on Danielle's bed, her other hand picking at cuticles on her fingers.

"Well, we could go to the park? Wanna go to the music sho-" Danielle started, innocently.

 _Innocent._ Holly could laugh right at that word's face.

"You know what I mean." Holly interrupted, her pink, glittery eyelids making an appearance when she closed her eyes in a sigh.

Danielle has been avoiding this conversation for a week, now. This _important_ conversation. She tried and tried to ask what Danielle wanted to do with... _this._ It was confusing.

Danielle kept giving Holly those eyes that told her that she _wanted_ this, her fleeting kisses telling her she _needed_ it.

But Danielle never said a word. She needed Danielle so say something.

Danielle sighed and looked down at her fiddling hands. She also didn't know what this was, and if she was honest with herself, she would know that she was just scared.

Before Holly, Danielle had never been in a 'relationship' before. Or 'dated', or 'messed around' with other people. She was scared of that too, she knew that. With Holly it was different though.

With Holly it was _easy_. They just instantly flowed into the rhythm of it, no need to stop and think about what to do next, how they are at it. It was like blood flowing through veins, a river flowing down a mountain. It didn't need instruction.

"I want..." Danielle started, but she didn't finish. She didn't know what she wanted.

"You don't have to... say it now." Holly interrupted. She smiled at Danielle when she looked up at her, her black eyes had furrowed eyebrows above them.

Inhaling through her nose, Danielle then smiled back.

"What do _you_ want?" Danielle asked this time.

Holly stared at her crush, licked her lips and also inhaled through her nose. She wanted to say this for _so long._

"I just want you." Holly stated. Sitting up, crossing her legs, still keeping eye contact.

"All of you." Holly slid off the bed to stand in front of Danielle, who parted her lips at the confession.

Because this was a confession, right?

"I liked you since forever, Danielle." Holly blinked, sniffing.

"I want you to be my girlfriend." She finally said, mountains of weight falling off her shoulder like and earthquake, and Holly felt the urge to cry.

Holly brought her face so close to Danielle's that she could smell her shampoo, and whispered, "just think about it."

"I have to go. My Dad'll be home by now." Holly stepped back, her cheeks filling with blood.

Danielle nodded. She couldn't speak yet, she could only just about move her body, her black eyes were still connected to blue ones.

"Bye, then." Holly said, her hand grasping Danielle's shoulder for a second too long.


	11. In His Room

**IN HIS ROOM**

The two boys have been texting non-stop for about a week now.

They seemed to be having one, massive conversation, that sprouts into others, and is manipulated by other events and jokes. Tommy felt a rush of exitement every morning to reply to Summer, or to see if Summer replied to the text her last sent.

He always replied.

_**you wanna hang out later today?** _

Summer bit his already short nails as he waited for a reply, his toast burning in the toaster. If Tommy said yes, this would be the first time hanging out completely _alone._ And Summer didn't know why but he wanted it so badly.

He almost leaped and squealed when he red the reply, but toned it down to a tiny hop and but his lip as to not wake his parents up. He was up before them today because of his morning shift at the shop.

_**Yeah sure. Where to?** _

Quickly sitting down at the kitchen table, munching his toast, Summer stared at his phone with no _fucking_ clue of what to reply.

_Where should he take him?_

All the times Summer hung out with Tommy was at his house, and that one time in the ice cream parlour. He hadn't hung out with Nick and Sara and the others in a while.

What if Tommy just came over to play some video games or watch a show? That would be fun. Casual. He didnt want to see as if he was trying too hard.

_Why was he trying so hard?_

_**Just to mine, we could watch a show and play games** _   
_**I get off work at 12.** _

This time, shutting his phone off and laying it flat on the table to stuff as much of the toast in his mouth as possible, chewing aggressively to try and get rid of the squeeze in his stomach.

Gulping down the rough toast, carrying he lump which was in his throat with it, he decided to go upstairs and brush his teeth whilst waiting for a reply.

Stuffing his phone into his jean pocket, he made his way up the stairs as quietly as he could.

The silence let him think, and Summer wasn't so sure that it was a good thing.

What if Tommy coming to his house wasn't a good idea? What if he was coming on too strongly for Tommy? Tommy always looked so vulnerable around Summer, he was so tiny compared to him.

Summer kept thinking about Tommy in his house, his living room, his kitchen and _oh my go_ d Tommy Marur is going to be in his room.

With that instant realisation, Summer spat out his tooth paste and ran to his room to clean up the mess that had accumulated in his room.

The bunch of dried up tissues on his desk that only teenage boys had and understood went straight to his rubbish bin, with a thought like, _oh my fucking god why am I so disgusting?_ Going through Summer's head.

Whilst Summer was hurriedly trying to make his room not look like it had an earthquake run through it, Tommy was sat on his bed, eyes wide, his hands clutching his phone.

_He... wants to hang out?_

It made Tommy squeal, and laugh and jump his way through his day because _oh he wants_ _to_ _hang out too._ But instead of doing that, he was having a mini-panic attack, trying to think of what to reply with.

It'll probably be something simple in the end, like 'yeah sure just pick me up when you're ready' but before he gets to the rational side of things, Tommy needs to go through _all_ the possible answers.

Because what if there's a better reply? What if Summer thinks that he dosnt care about hanging out, and that he could just easily do something else and abandon him? Summer definitely would be able to, he actually had _friends._

_Am I his friend now?_

**_Yeah sure_ ** **_just_ ** **_pick me up when_ ** **_you're_ ** **_ready._ **

He almost threw the phone out of his window.

But instead he put it down on his bed and grabbed a pillow to scream into.

____

Summer's eyes didn't leave the tiny clock on his desk, following the long hand ticking away, just seconds away from letting his leave this god awful place. When it finally struck twelve, Summer almost gasped in exitement, running to put his keys on the desk and get _out._

Summer had the game they were going to play ready on his bedroom floor in front of his small TV he bought himself when he saved enough money, and a few snacks he bought from the shop on the way to work in his hand.

Sweat was running down his face when he finally got to the modern house, quickly wiping it off and ringing the doorbell.

Summer still hadn't figured out yet if this was still a good idea or not.

"Hello! Sara, yes?" The door opened to reveal the small lady he had met a number of times smiling up at him, asking if she should get _Sara._

_Sorry, wrong child!_

"Oh, no, I'm here for Tommy."

In the distance, he could hear a voice shouting from upstairs something he couldn't understand, but it sounded desperate.

And the next thing he knew, Tommy was trotting down the wooden stairs. The first thing he saw was his green socks.

And then his black jeans that hugged his thighs almost deliciously.

And then one of his iconic band merchandise hoodies that Summer she's him wearing everytime he came over.

And then they made that dreadful eye contact, which both of them knew that they wanted it to meant something, but they were both also too much of a coward to do something about it.

And it was new.

Summer and Tommy were walking side by side, and it wasn't awkward this time. They were speaking about the things they texted about, about new music and stupid jokes, however the air itself looked glowing.

It might be because of the glaring sun but they knew it wasn't. It was because of Summer's hair, his eyes. It was because of Tommy's laugh when Summer teased him about his weird music tastes.

"Seriously, what _is_ that!" Summer bellowed, smiling down at Tommy when he shown his play list to Summer and played a few songs.

Tommy covered his face with the hand that wasn't holding his phone, "Stop! Fight me if you don't like my tunes!"

"Oh, _oh,_ you wanna _fight_ do ya'?" Summer winked at Tommy, who's fave turned into a fly trap in surprised and slight fake disgust.

"Summer! You dirty, dirty man." Tommy shook his head at Summer and his dirty mind, and carried on walking to reach the end of the road.

"Which way we turning?" Tommy asked, quietly.

"We're here, sunshine." Summer opened the gate, arms stretched out as if to welcome Tommy into his humble home, but he couldn't make eye contact.

The nerves just hit Summer, whilst they were walking to his house it was perfectly fine, he was distracted by Tommy's eyes when he smiled, Tommy's sharp canines. But now all his mind was thinking was that Tommy and his sharp teeth are going to be in his house.

_In his room._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**FRIENDS**

For all the hiccups and tension, Tommy being in his room wasn't a suicide mission after all.

They played games on Summer's Ps4, which Tommy had some strong opinions about, and then when Tommy noticed Summer's bookshelf he just pointed, and looked at Summer with a look that said, ' _what's_ _this?'_

"What? Are you surprised that I _read?"_ Summer teased, dropping his controller and crossing his arms.

"No, just surprised that you have so many. It's impressive." Tommy replied. He liked most of the books on the shelves, and that was something he was content about.

Summer picked up his controller again. Now that Tommy knows he read, would he look at him differently? Would it be a good different?

But what is _good_ different?

Summer wanted Tommy to like him so badly, he felt like ripping his hair out. He thought that maybe crushing each one of your teeth without any medication would hurt less than knowing and yet still developing a crush on somebody.

There was a silence for a while, when the game was at a point where it wasn't at all provoking. That was when Tommy thought about how close Summer really was.

Like, so close.

They were sitting on the floor, their thighs touching. And maybe this wasn't anything to Summer, maybe he was like this to everyone. Summer was nice, he had friends.

Tommy couldn't help but feel a pang in his chest at that. The fact that Summer asked him to hang out, asked only _him,_ made his mouth taste sweeter.

The smooth controller was quickly starting to feel slippy in his hands, Tommy shifted so that their thighs weren't touching anymore and his heart rate wasn't increasing in speed anymore.

It made Summer frown.

"Oh my fucking god, help me!" Summer exclaimed in panic, suddenly jumping up to his knees on the floor, making Tommy almost have a heart attack. On high alert, face flushing from thinking of things that Summer would definitely find weird, Tommy did as Summer asked.

Giggling and chuckling at Summer's eyebrows and staring at his pouting lips for a little too long when the tv screen flashed red the words _'you are defeated'_ reminding them of their impending doom.

At least they felt like it was.

Summer lied down on the floor, hands crossing underneath his head. Tommy thought that the sun on his face was meant to be there, it was meant to temporarily blind him so Tommy could stare.

They've moved away from each other now, silent up until Summer sighed.

"You know what I think is dumb?" Summer whispered. Opening one of his blue eyes to steal a look.

"What?" Tommy asked, fidgeting in his place on the floor. Tommy's eyes wouldn't seem to even think about moving away from Summer's freckles. He had so many.

Summer looked at the ceiling, covering his eyes with a hand.

"Everything. Everything is fucking stupid." Summer said with a forced laugh.

"I used to be on the rugby team, you know?" Summer started. Tommy kept looking, focused on his words.

"People thought that I was some great leader, that I'd go on to do amazing things, and yet," Summer paused, bringing his other hand to his face, "here I am, playing video games with someone I just met and feeling the happiest I've been in a long time."

Tommy smiled.

"You will do amazing things, Summer," Tommy replied, "and you'll be happy whilst you're doing so, now."

That made Summer sit up to look at Tommy. Summer's eyebrows were furrowed, but he didn't want to cry - it's too early for crying.

Tommy opened his arms, smiling at his new friend, and leaned in to hug him.

Summer was confused. He hadn't hugged anyone in so long, not even Nick or his mum. When Summer felt Tommy's small hands lay upon his back he knew it would be alright to do the same.

So Summer squeezed Tommy tight, scared that it would be the last touch from him he would receive for a while. He wanted it to last forever.

And Tommy squeezed back.

_

"What do you wan' be? Like properly?" Summer asked Tommy when they were stuffing their faces with the snacks Summer bought.

Tommy finished his mouthful, and looked up at Summer with a glare.

"You sound like my dad." Tommy murmered, leaning forward for another brownie.

"Tell me!" Summer exclaimed, dragging on the 'ee', sounding just like a child begging for sweets.

"I'll tell you what I wanna be," bashfully looking down at Tommy, bringing his jaw in, eyes as wide as a puppy dog.

"Tell me your one first." Tommy made a deal with Summer, bringing his hand out, pretending to spit on it, laughing.

Summer looked at his hand calculatingly. "You know what," Summer leaned back, checking the time on the clock on his wall. 4:06.

"Let's go on the trampoline!" Summer shouted. His mum wasn't home, they could do whatever they wanted. He grabbed Tommy's hand and pulled, dragging him to downstairs.

Tommy's heart had a malfunction. His sleeves ran up, he didn't know if Summer saw.

His eyes checked up to see and Summer was facing away, he took Summer's hand with his own other one, rapidly pulling the sleeve down. He took a breath.

His cheeks felt hot and there was pain in his stomach, but it was _fine,_ Summer didn't see anything, everything was _okay._

Once they had their shoes on and stepped outside, Tommy was grateful for the rush of cool air blowing on his face. Summer had a smile on his face, looking back at Tommy to see if he was as exited as he was.

When he didn't see brown eyes looking back at him he paused, and let go of Tommy's hand. Maybe holding his hand was a bit too much.

_But he wanted to hold his hand._

"Look at this bitch, I mean!" Summer gestured to his massive trampoline in his _enormous_ garden.

Tommy loved it. Summer must've had so much space to run around in as a kid.

"WOAH, your garden in massive." Tommy gasped when he saw it.

Summer had the most wonderful garden. Full of swings and toys. A tiny shed, and a bunch of rusting bikes, floweres everywhere. Not to mention the huge trampoline.

"Thanks," Summer gave Tommy a raised eyebrow. "Wanna see somethin' else thats massive?"

Tommy paused. He didnt realise just how disgusting Summer could be. He laughed, but it was still nasty, and it made him have a weird feeling that made his throat close up and cheeks burn.

Tommy turned around and punched Summer in the arm as hard as he could, shouted _nasty!_ And ran as fast as his little legs could carry him to the trampoline.

Even though he was howling, both in pain and laughter, Summer stared at his friend. Clutching his arm he walked to catch up with him, and decided that he was quite possibly the most georgeous person in the world.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	13. Gossip

**GOSSIP**

"What should I fucking do?" Summer flung himself onto his soft bed and rubbed his face with his hands.

Nick just stared at him with his arms crossed until he started to laugh. _The things he must have going through his head right now..._

"What? Why are you laughing at me?" Offended, Summer was plain offended.

He had just told his best friend that he might, _might,_ have the tiniest crush on his girlfriend's brother and all he does is _laugh?_

What the hell.

"Dude," Nick closes his eyes, sitting down on the bed, "my brother, best friend since what," Nick looked up to think, "a decade, almost? Woah, thats trippy." Summer agreed.

"Anyways, off topic," Nick put both of his hands on Summer's shoulders, who was now sitting up.

"If you like someone, you cant contol it. You can only accept and move on. If you want to do anything with those feelings you can. But you dont have to."

"That was wise, man." Summer replied, astonished. He didnt know his best friend was a grandad. Nick always seemed to surprise him.

"If you think that then _listen_ to me." Nick replied, and stood up to get ready to leave.

They said their goodbyes and when the front door closed infront of Summer his hands felt numb.

_If you want to do anything with those feelings, you can._

But what does he do when he dosnt know if he wants to do anyhing with those feelings?

The times that him and Tommy hung out he probably felt the happiest, calmest he ever did. It kind of frustrated him a little. How could someone you just met make you feel so strongly?

It was like runnig water, gilling up your whole body and you didnt know what to do with it.

He needed to figure it out before he drowned.

__

"Oh my god i totally see it." Sara says, looking ahead at Tommy's wall as if it was heaven.

"Youre not helping." Tommy was blushing like crazy, regretting ever telling his sister about him ' _taking a liking'_ towards Summer.

He wanted to fucking die. With Sara's shrieks and gasps you woulve thought someone got married.

Tommy didnt know how this happened. He was just thinking about Summer and his pretty smile and all of a sudden his siter was staring at him, mouth agape.

"You want me to tell him? Shall I make it a double date?" She was going off on a tangent and couldnt be brought down to earth if she went too far, therefore Tommy's screaming was totally justified.

Their paretns were out, so it was fine.

"No! Dont you fucking dare even think about it!" His face was covered in regret and caution, his hands almost in mouth wanting to chew his fingers off.

Saras empty hands went up to her chest, her face faking innocence.

"The thing about you is that you would _actually_ do it, and thats something I both admire and hate about you." Tommy flopped down onto his bed, hating his life right now. All he wanted to do was go back to when _nobody knew._ He couldve just gotten over it and stayed his normal, not-flustered self.

It would've been better for everyone.

The fact that Summer is a _boy,_ also didnt help.

He was also a boy. He was meant to be a man, and yet his fucking brain decided to go against every plan he ever made and sent him falling into hell.

Tommy knew it was _okay_ for boys to like boys, and for girls to like girls, and for everyone to like whoever they wanted to, but for himself to like another boy was like him slapping his father in the face.

All Tommy truly wanted was to live out the most simple life he could. Get a job, move out, sell his drawings, get a dog, go to the cafe sometimes.

Liking people just made things complicated.

Especially if he liked _Summer._


	14. Plan

**PLAN**

  
Jesus Christ help that boy... Sara thought to herself whilst she was making lunch for herself and Tommy. His favourite, just a tomato sandwitch.

She knows how badly their dad treads Tommy. Sara knows that if he were to come out to their parents, he'd probably go to the dark place again.

She hated the dark days. Tommy didnt speak to her for days on end, stuck in his room, either sleeping or studying for a test he needed to ace. The only occasion he would come out of his room was if their mum called them down for dinner or to go to the bathroom.

Sara sighed as she sliced the tomatoes. They have finished school now. They could find a cheap little apartment now and move out and find what makes them both happy.

And maybe, if everything goes well, Tommy could _get it on_ with Summer.

The thought made her smile. Tommy deserves to be happy, and from the few times she saw him with Summer, she deduced that Summer was up for it.

Placing the plate of sandwitches on the wooden table, wiping her hands on her jeans, Sara jumped up the stairs to knock on Tommy's door.

Opening the door she revealed sight of Tommy hunched over his phone, a smile on his face. The smile soon transferred to her own face, she knew who he was talking to.

"Tomatoe sandwitches for lunch, come down," leaving the door open, and throwing herself down the stairs before Tommy got to punch her.

Five minutes past before she saw Tommy walk into the kitchen, eyes still glued to his phone, still grinning.

 _Huh._ He really does like him then.

"Hey Tommy..." Sara teased, leaning her chin on her fist.

"Hmm?" Tommy wasnt looking at his sister, too busy whilst replying to a meme that Summer just sent him.

"Who ya textin'?" Dragging out the 'who', that made Tommy look up.

Glaring at her, he quickly told Summer that he had to go and eat before slowly putting his phone down on the kitchen table.

"Youre a bitch. You know who," Tommy pouted and picked up a sandwitch. He was confused. He knew that Summer made him happy, he wants to be friends with him.

But if his head didnt fucking stop with the scenarios, he is gonna freak.

Tommy fantasized about all the basic things. Like, Summer confessing his love for him in the rain, and then going to Summer's house to watch a movie and cuddle.

He would like to kiss Summer as gently as he could, when he pulled back he would say that he loved him too.

And then he liked to think about whether if they would meet again when theyre older, wiser, when they knew what they want and knew how to get it. He knew that if this thing would happen it wouldnt last as long as he would like.

Whenever Tommy thought of these things his face would go bright red and he would have to tell himself that these things would never happen, Summer desrved more than a fat, emo boy.

Sara laughed at him, "You know what? I wanna go on a road trip. To scotland." Sara exclaimed randomly. She sat back in the squeaky old chair.

"Now?" Tommy asked eyebrows furrowing at his sisters impulsive desicions, but not totally opossed to the idea. It could be fun, actually.

Sara shrugged. "Nick has a car and drivers lisence." Sara looking into Tommy's brown eyes. There was something in her belly that said they had to do this before the next school year started.

Tommy paused. "I dont see why not!" He started to laugh, a weird laugh that was easily attached onto Sara, and wouldnt let go.

When it finally did, they both settled down and started to eat the sandwitches away.

"Who would come along though?" Tommy asked, mid way through chewing, crossing his legs and picking at the cuts in the wooden table.

"Well, obviously you, me and Nick," Sara paused, " _Summer,_ " Sara wiggled her eyebrows but Tommy looked away and pretended he didnt see, "Holly, Danielle, and Jack. Yeah, thats all. Although i have to ask first," she said, scratching the back of her neck.

"Would we all fit in the car?" Tommy questioned.

"Oh, nicks car is huge." Dismissing the question. "Amongst other things... Anyways!"

"Sara! Ew!" The disgust showing on his face. Why? Just why would she say that to a minor like him? He's just turned 16, let him live.

"What? You didnt hear anything!" Smirking her mouth off, taking the empty plate to the sink.

"Good afternoon," Their mum says as she walks into the kitchen, a pile of dirty clothes in her arms. Her polish accent as thick as ever. Whenever she speaks english it always sounds so cute, at least Tommy thought so.

"Mama, we want to go on a road trip with some friends soon," Tommy says, standing up to hug his mum after she put down the laundry.

"In polish please," Mama replies.

"Ah, uh..." Tommy looks at Sara for help, he was never as good as polish as his sister. She just had a knack for languages.

"We want to go on a road trip soon, is that okay?"

"Road trip?" She puts her hands on her hips. "With what car?"

"Nick's."

"He has a car?! Already? Does he have a lisence?"

"Yup."

Mama shook her head. Her children need to get jobs.

"Okay. You can go, _but,_ " she paused, lifting a finger to point at both of them. "Only for a week, and afterwards, you both start looking for jobs."

They both quickly nod, in military positions, tempted to salute to their mother's soldier anatics.

"Now get out i need to do my laundry." Giving them both a sly smile, chuckling at their childish runs.

**(AN: I couldnt be arsed to translate the mother's conversation into polish so just use your imagination :DD?**


	15. You'received Both Gonna be Dead

**YOU'RE BOTH GONNA BE DEAD**

Tommy was actually so exited for all of their plans to commence, he decided to text Summer about it and see what he thought about it, and he replied with a strong opinion.

**Yes!!! That would be so fucking fun!!!!!!! Its been on my bucketlist to go to scotland :))) skejsk im so exited, whos going?**

In Saras room, planning the trip together (which meant just texting everyone to see if they actually want to do it.) Sara was on the phone to Holly, and Tommy was texting Summer- like he's been doing practically all the 2 weeks of holiday they had.

"Oh my god, right! What are you bringing?" Sara asks whilst blending her pink eyeshadow.

Holly's muffled voice replied, "Its for a week right? So ill bring some towels for the beach, the money ive saved up, and... well clothes i guess."

"Yeah, there isnt as much stuff to brig as I thought. Oh! I cant believe i just didnt think about the fucking _car ride._ " Sara rolled her eyes at herself.

"Oh! Fucking hell Sara, same though," Holly giggled through the phone. "As for the ride, I'll bring... shall i bring books?"

Tommy instantly perked up, "I could bring books, although..." once he thought about it he decided against. "We'll probabaly be too busy talking to the others to actually read."

"Yeah, true 'dat."

Silence came over them after that, Sara busy with concentrating on her eyeliner, Tommy replying to Summer saying that he'll bring his boombox just for shits and giggles.

"Ugh!" A sudden cry cane from Sara's phone, almost making Sara screw up her eyeliner.

"You alright there sweetheart?" Sara asks, eyebrows bunching up in concern. It sounded like a painful _ugh._

"If I tell you guys you have to promise not tell a soul. Otherwise youre both gonna be dead." Holly brought her voice to almost a whisper, so quiet they had to lean in.

"Okay. But can I ask why we are whispering?" Sara shout-whispers back.

"Because," Holly clears her throat, bringing her voice to a normal level "Because, this is so fucking important to be that I dont want anyone else to hear."

Sara gave Tommy a look.

"You know Danielle right? The girl with black hair?" Holly starts.

"Yeah..." Sara replies, dragging the word on.

"We um, i dont know, fucking _fooled around_ I guess, and I think that means that she knows I like her, but she just," a loud bang came from the phone.

There was so much information to take in. First of all, Holly liked girls, (never seen that coming) and she likes Danielle. The really quiet, kind and _quiet_ girl. Did Danielle like girls?

"You alright?" Tommy asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Holly had her hands covering her eyes afyer she just banged her head on the wall. "But Danielle apparently fucking isnt! I wish she would just _talk to me._ "

"She'll come around." Sara attempted to comfort her.

"Do you know if she even likes girls?" Tommy asked. 

Thats when Holly knew she severely fucked up.

She didnt know anythjng about Danielle. In the sexuality department, it was as dry as a desert. Holly didnt know if Danielle was gay, bi, pan or whatever the fuck.

She didnt know.

And she asked her to be her _girlfriend._

"Oh, for fucks sake Tommy..."

Tommy didnt know what to do. He might've just triggered a sudden realization and he didnt know how to react.

"What have I done. I dont know. I dont know if she even likes girls and I asked her to be my _girlfriend._ "

"Just..." Tommy was trying hard to think of what to say. He looked at Sara for help but she was just as confused as he was.

"You've already spoken to her... You know? All you can do now if wait. Danielle will say something if she really wants this."

Holly finally opened her eyes. "Yeah. Yeah okay, you're right. I have to go now though, I have some waiting to do. And slme fucking crying." She ended the call.

How could she have been so _stupid._

But Tommy _was_ right. All she could do now was wait. Waiting for something that you didnt even know was going to happen was like waiting for an earthquake.

But she was going to wait.

For Danielle.  
  
  



	16. Red Lipstick

**RED LIPSTICK**

"Holly! Fuck me, if that was boiling, you'd be dead!" Jack flung his musclely hands up after Holly spilt her luke-warm tea all over his shirt.

"As If. Pussy. Sorry by the way- I tripped over my bag." Holly laughed, kicking her bag she just tripped on further into the edge of the couch.

Right now, the whole gang was a Nick's house, having a sleepover the day before they start their journey to Scotland.

"Do you think we'll see goats? I so wanna see goats." Summer said to Tommy, who was busy doodling in his sketchbook and trying not to think about Summer's thigh that was pressed up to his.

With all the space on the couch, he was considering moving away from Summer to save himself a panic attack.

But at the same time he didnt.

"We should pass some hillsides. I dont know really, this is my first road trip." Tommy said, distractidly.

"Really? I used to go on road trips all the time when I was in primary." Summer had a good childhood, he had his swings, road trips, slides and ice cream covered mouths.

He wished he could go back.

"Where did you go?" Tommy asked, closing his sketchbook and leaning towards Summer a little.

 _His eyes are so big,_ Summer thought.

"Wales. Scotland. Ireland. All over Britain, really." He smiled with his glittering eyes. "I know some cool places I want to show you."

Tommy's cheeks flustered up with a light pink after Summer just blatently told him that he _wants_ to show _him._

He _wants_ to.

Tommy's thoughts instantly told him it was because Summer liked him back. Of course he did, he looked at him with a mischievious glint in his eyes and smiled at him with his gummy teeth. His arm was always around his shoulders, his thigh touching his.

However Tommy wacked that thought down like wack a mole, it was just his love-filled brain making stupid ideas that would only put a hole in his heart.

_Stupid brain._

"Theres like, a thousand beaches in scotland. And it would probably be cold but oh well, we _will_ be going skinny dipping! Its on my bucket list!" Summer stated to the whole group, who all gasped in exitement whilst Tommy paled.

He couldnt refuse to do it. They'd all think that he was a downer. They already think of him like a kid, even though he's the same age as them. Jack especially. He kept ruining his hair. It was messy already, but it hurt Tommy's ego.

"I have an idea!" Holly had a light bulb above her head, shiny eyes moving to across the room where Danielle sat, watching the movie.

"We could do all our makeup!"

"Yesss!!!" Sara replied, with Nick laughing beside her. Danielle looked up, eyes connecting to Holly's.

It was like Holly was trying to get her to reply faster. She already knew her answer, but she was so _scared._

Danielle kept thinking that this was all a joke. Something she had came up with the others and it went too far, and she was just a great actor. She wanted to just go right up to her and steal a kiss, but eveytime she took a step, she thoght of the laughs. All the _laughs._

She wants to be Holly's girlfriend. She wants, she wants, she wants.

Holly sighed.

"Oh my god, I want the red lipstick!" Jack exclaimes.

Tommy's eyebrows shoot up. _Jack?_ He had all thise muscles and such a mean face, and he wants the _red lipstick?_ If he wanted red lipstick, his father would hit his lips until it would look like a clowns mouth.

Summer was doing it, Nick was doing it. Tommy sat on the couch for the past half hour, watching the girls squeal as the boys pulled their eye to do the liner, slapping hands.

He clenched his hands. It looked like fun, and it would only be for today.

_He could just wipe it off straight after._

He made the desicion to slide down from the couch onto the floor where everybody was, and sat until he was noticed.

Holly saw him instantly, smiling widely with her long, thick eyeliner, blush on her cheekbones and glittery red eyeshadow.

"Can I do _your_ makeup, Tommy?" She asked politely, hands joining into a pleading position.

Tommy grinned, nodding.

_The brush was so soft._

"Right look up." Holly whispered after a while of giggles and _oop's._

"Ow!" Tommy screeched, trying not to embarass himself any further by fucking _crying_ because of a mascara.

"Woah.."

Summer had just looked up, and was staring at Tommy.

When he opened his eyes, they looked so _dark._ So _deep,_ but filled-to the brim.

And his lips, oh god his _lips._ They were so red they put blood to shame.

Summer was doomed. One second he was fine, having fun drawing fake freckles on his cheeks, but then he looked up and saw the walking dream that was Tommy, grateful that he was sitting becaue he would've collapsed.

"That looks so good.." Summer was flabbergasted. He's never seen makeup look that good on someone.

With Tommy's high cheekbones, the blush (makeup and a rush of blood) made him ethereal. Summer couldnt stop staring.

It made Tommy feel like he was on cloud 9, and yet he wanted him to look away. He was meant to be a man, and here he was putting makeup on.

Tommy instantly regretted it when the others joined in on the complementing. He should look good in makeup, he was a _boy._

"You alright Tom?" Sara asked afyer seeing _the face_ on Tommy.

We all have a face. A face that floods others with everything we're thinking and every emotion we are feeling. Its only when we know someone is looking, some can hide it. Others, like Tommy, can't.

Everything was out there in the open. Sara knew and recognised his face because he was her brother - she knew everything about him.

"Yeah, yeah. Im good." Tommy muttered. He wanted to wipe the red lipstick _off._

" _Tommy._ You know you _can_ wear makeup right?" He heard Holly whisper.

"Even if its just for fun. Even if you want to wear it out. Its fine." Holly carried on, after putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

It was like she knew exactly what to say. Deep down he knows it, he knows that its fine.

"You dont have to do everything for other people and then nothing for yourself."

Yeah. _Yeah._

Holly is definitely psychic, Tommy thought, looking back at it.  
  
  
  



End file.
